Goku's Incident
by MrTennek
Summary: Goku goes out to get some ice cream but somehow winds up at a drivers licensing center and blows up one of their testing machines. If you think that's weird, you ain't seen nothing yet!


DBZ - Goku's Incident

(warning: the following program my cause loss of brain cells and overall cereberal activity...and on that note; ENJOY THE SHOW :D)  
(at the ICBC office)

Goku - (sitting on a chair reading a car magazine) (singing to himself) "...my baloney has a one-  
thousandth name, it's G-O-K-U; my baloney has a one-thousandth-and-two name, it's G-O-K-U; my...

Man - (pulls a gun out and shoots himself in the head)

Goku - (still singing) My baloney has- wha...WHOA! (to the woman sitting beside him) WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE BUMPER ON THIS CAR BABY! (smacking the paper with his hand) I'd hit that!

Woman - Excuse me sir, but some of us are actually trying to 'study' for the licensing test.

Goku - Licensing test?...I THOUGHT THIS WAS BASKIN ROBBINS!

Woman - ...

Man on Loudspeaker - Will the man in the lobby singing about baloney and harrassing the other customers please report to the testing room.

Goku - Hmmm, this gum has lost all its taste! (spits it into the womans hair) (stumbles out of the room) My baloney has a.  
(moments later, in the testing room...or chamber...or office...whatever...)

Supervisor - Well hello sir! My name is Burley Chuck-

Goku - Well hello there fine waiter! I'll have a sugar frosted cone with some double nutty-butty and sprinkled minty-bits-

Supervisor - Right...Anyways, like I saw saying: my name is Burley Chuckster, and I'll be your testing supervisor for today! All ready?

Goku - Ready for what?...Ice cream...?

Supervisor - (silent) This here is the testing machine. It's called the 'License-O-Matic 4000'. All you have to do is put in all your personal information, and then just answer the questions it asks. All of the questions will be in multiple choice form, and at the end of the-

Goku - (pressing buttons all over the machine and kicking it) Where does my damn waffle cone come out of!

Supervisor - (pushes Goku away) Please refrain from doing that sir! Doing so could result in (dramatic voice) a core explosion!

Goku - Yeah that's great and all, but I'm really here for your famous 'Chicken Grill with 1000 Islands Sauce'...

Supervisor - Wha- Sir, are you on drugs or something!

Goku - (pressing buttons on the machine again) Oooh! Pong! I haven't played this in ages...

(the machine starts whirring and buzzing loudly)

Supervisor - NO-

(the test machine explodes)

Goku - (blackened by smoke)...do I win something!

Supervisor - Yes, you win a $4000 bill for the repair costs of this machine.

Goku - AH AWESOME! A $4000 BILL TO REPAIR- huh, wait a minute...DAMNIT!

(meanwhile at Chichi's home)

Chichi - (making soup)

(the phone suddenly rings)

Chichi - (picks up the phone) Hello?

Goku - (on the phone) Chichi! Ya gotta help me!

Chichi - Is that you Goku!

Goku - (on the phone) Oh God Chichi...I went out for some Baskin Robbins like I said I would and...and.  
I somehow ended up in an ICBC test center, and...I ended up blowing up one of their machines cause I got the highest score playing pong on it, and-

Chichi - Goku, none of what you just said to me made any sense. What do you need!

Goku - (casually) Oh, just $4000.

Chichi - (silent)

Goku - Wha- Chichi! You didn't hang up on me again, did you? Oh God, their gonna break my knee's if ya don't lend me the money!

Chichi - Goku?

Goku - Yeah?

Chichi - Good luck with the kneecaps. (hangs up)

Goku - SON OF A--

(back at the testing center)

(two men with baseball bats are standing behind Goku)

Supervisor - So then...did you get the money to pay for this machines repairs?

Goku - Uhm...not at the moment...but uh...I got some really good friends who I'm sure will help me out with paying you!

Supervisor - Well, wherever you go, these guys go. (points at the guys bearing baseball bats)

Goku - Well...my car is only a two-seater...

Supervisor - Your car- IF YOU HAVE A CAR THEN WHY WHERE YOU HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Goku - ...can I have my chicken platter now?

(ten minutes later, at Krillins house)

Goku - (knocks on Krillins door, with the two thugs behind him)

Krillin - (opens the door, wearing only a thong) Well hello there Gok-(suddenly notices the two huge men bearing baseball bats standing behind him) (enourmous sweatdrop) OH, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME GOKU! I KNEW YOU'D SELL ME OUT! (starts sobbing) Oh, please make it quick- I wish I never stole those victorias secrets panties!

Goku - (stares at Krillin)

The Two Thugs - (stare at Krillin)

Goku - Well then...Mr. Bikini...I think we'll just mosy on down the road and...go visit Piccolo.  
..nice seeing you though...(backs away slowly)...good luck with that panty thing...(suddenly runs away)

The Two Thugs - (sweatdrop)

(seven minutes later, at Piccolo's...'crib)  
(authors note: Hey! We're trying to appeal to the 'younger crowd'!)

Goku - (knocks on Piccolo's door, but the door just slides open) Uh...(pokes his head inside the door) You in here Piccolo?

(loud hardcore rap is playing)

Piccolo - (dressed in 'hip hop' gear and doing a funky dance to rap music) (singing) 'Those playa haters think they can bring me down -but they don't know that when Piccolo's around-

Goku - (clears his throat)

Piccolo - (suddenly notices Goku and his two thugs and stops dancing) WHA-(looks around frantically)  
(incinerates the CD-player with a beam and rips his rap-attire off)

Goku - (struggling not to laugh)

Piccolo - God Goku, I'm glad you arrived when you did! Babidi must have had some kind of mind-control over me-

Goku - Whatever you say...'Rap Gangsta Picc'...(starts laughing uncontrollably)

Two Thugs - (start laughing loudly)

Piccolo - SPECIAL BEAM CANNON! (destroys the entire house, including Goku and his two men)

(five minutes later, at Roshi's island house)

Goku - Now this time, I'm sure I'll get some...'real' help! Yamcha never lets me down- (opens the door and finds Yamcha having an orgy with Oolong and Master Roshi.)

The Two Thugs - ...

Goku - Oh right! I forgot, it's friday - Master Roshi'sGay Orgy party is still on!(grabs the two men by the arms) Just keep walking.

(twelve minutes later, at Vegeta's house)

Goku - Well, Vegeta is my last chance for paying off that blasted machine...(starts writing his 'Will')

Thug - (knocks on the door)

Trunks - (opens the door) Oh, hello Goku!...and your two thugs...What brings you here at this time of day?

Goku - Well Trunks, I gotta borrow $4000 from your father!

Trunks - ...(hands him a bottle of painkillers) You're going to need these...(lets Goku in)

(inside of Vegeta's home)

Trunks - Dad! Goku's here! (silence)...And he needs to be punched in the stomach!

Vegeta - (comes running downstairs with a look of glee in his eyes) Where is he where is he!

Goku - Well hi there Vege--(gets punched in the gut) Ummph! Well now, that's quite an interesting greeting you have there! Allow me to return the favour! (turns super sasyan 3 and smashes his fist through Vegeta's abdomen)

Trunks - ...I'll go call the paramedics...(leaves)  
(five minutes later, in the living room)

Vegeta - So then Kakarot, I hear you need me to lend you a large sum of money to pay off your lifetime subscription to 'Idiots Anonymous', eh?

Goku - Well, yes I- WAIT A MINUTE!

Vegeta + Trunks - (laughing uncontrollably)

Bulma - (hits Vegeta over the head with an antique vase)

Goku - Vegeta, this is serious stuff here! These two guys will bust my kneecaps if I don't pay 'em by sundown!

Thug - Sundown?

Goku - Eh, I thought it sounded more dramatic...

Vegeta - And why should I give you 'anymore' money Kakarot! YOU STILL OWE ME A MORTGAGE FOR THAT TIME YOU DESTROYED THE DUNKIN DOUGHNUTS SHOP DOWN THE ROAD!

(and now, for an awkwardly placed flashbacK) (two months ago, at Dunkin' Doughnuts)

Goku - Hello there good sir! I would like to partake in your newly advertised 'All You Can Eat Doughnut Buffet'!

Waiter - Wha- sir, we never advertised an 'all you can eat doughnut-

Goku - (slams his fist down on the counter) I want my buffet, and I WANT IT NOW!

(back at Vegies house)

Vegeta - And not just that Goku; but did you ever even consider the fact that you are a Super Saiyan 3,  
and these two thugs are just lowly humans!

Goku - (looks confused) (ponders) Hmmm...you know...that's quite a valid point...(tries to look deep in thought)...

Vegeta - ...

Goku - ...(belches loudly) But! I still feel guilty for destroying that old arcade machine so please Vegeta! Please lend me the money!

Vegeta - Sure Goku, I'll lend you the money. On one condition!

Goku - You name it buddy!

Vegeta - That you never talk to me, visit me, or call me buddy EVER again.

Goku - (laughing) Well...you know I can't do that!...Buddy!

Vegeta - Then good luck with those kneecaps! I hear reconstructive knee surgery can cost quite a bit Kakarott!

Goku - Fine Vegeta; you've left me no choice! (grabs him by the hand)

Vegeta - WHAT THE-

(Goku and Vegeta suddenly teleport out of the room)

Trunks - Something tells me this isn't good.

(suddenly, Goku and Vegeta appear inside of Master Roshis hut)

Vegeta - Wha- JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!

Goku - This my friend...is master roshis weekly orgy.

Vegeta - (trying to cover his eyes) AAAAAAARRRRGHHHH! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!

Goku - I can make the pain stop Vegeta. Just lend me the 4000 bucks, and I'll be on my way.

Vegeta - (digs through his pockets and throws all his money at Goku) HERE, TAKE IT ALL! JUST GET ME THE F OUT OF HERE ALREADY!

Goku - Sure thing buddy-boy! (teleports Vegeta out with him)

Oolong - Well that was rude! Interrupted my org-

(OKAY FOLKS, I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH! O.O)  
(back at Vegeta's house)

(Goku and a traumatized Vegeta reappeare in the house)

Goku - (holding the 4000 bucks) Thanks Vegie-buddy! Well, I'm gonna be off- gotta go pay off my debts!  
So long! (starts to leave) Oh, and Bulma; that coffee was delicious! (flings himselfout the front door)

Bulma - Coffee?...

Vegeta - (stumbles off upstairs)

Bulma - Wha- Vegeta, you actually lent Goku $4000! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TOWARDS OUR REPLACEMENT WATERPIK! Uh...where are you going?

Vegeta - (zombie like) Must bleach eyes...

(back at the ICBC center)

Goku - (barges into the test room with a fistful of cash) Well folks, I have the $4000 dollars- WHA!

Chichi - (giving the supervisor money) Oh Goku! I was just paying off this man for the machine.

Goku - But I thought you said-

Chichi - Oh, I just couldn't bear the thought of you having your kneecaps broken Goku!...And I couldn't stand the thought of having to look after you in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. (shudders)

Goku - But then...what about the $4000 bucks that Vegeta lent me!

Chichi - Vegeta actually gave you the $4000 dollars! How on Earth did you get him to do that?

Goku - Well it's simple: I took him to one of Master Roshi's gay orgy parties and-

Chichi - You know what Goku; I'd rather not know. But what are we going to do with all this money now then?

Goku - (grabs Chichi and pulls her close) Well babe, we're gonna go out to town tonight, and spend it up like it's 1962!

Chichi - Oh Goku! (hugs him tightly)

Supervisor - (sniffling) It brings a tear to your eye doesn't it?

Machine Technician - Uh...I think thats the fumes spewing out of the machine...

(and Goku went out and got drunk off his ass: THE END)

Narrator - And the moral of todays story is..."DON'T BREAK ICBC TESTING MACHINES, CAUSE YOU MIGHT END UP HAVING TO ATTEND A GAY ORGY PARTY"

(and...in music stores this spring...'Rap Gangsta Picc's' new hardcore smash album 'Those Namek Playa Haters'! Featuring the tracks...uh...I don't know...and: special guest featuring Goku on track number 2!)

Goku - Uh...(trying to rap) Mah names Goku and...I like the baloney...and haters who don't likes the baloney...uh.  
(suddenly, a large anvil falls on his head)

Announcer - Yes! And coming soon to a Adult Store near you: Master Roshis Party of Pleasure! Rated 155+ for hardcore old man sex and pig beastiality!

Author - Ah, the lengths I go to to get more readers... 


End file.
